Monday, September 19, 2005


Who am I when no-one's watching? This was the theme of our evang event at church last night (ok they're probably called something more grown up and church like now rather than the CUish evang event but you know what I mean!) Obvisouly something I've been thinking about quite a bit recently as most of what I know and probably falsely built my identity on has been stripped away. I can easily say my identity is found in God, that I am a child of God, loved by him and holy and blameless in hi s sight, but how much do I believe it and how does it make a differnece to how I live my life? Why do I still then seek approval from people around me? And care more about what they think of me than what God thinks of me?
I've spent the last two Sunday afternoons in old people homes, helping with a service and chatting to the old people. I always find it quite difficult to initiate conversation, coz your stripped of the basic get to know you quesiton of 'So, what do you do?' - all they do is sit ... all day... maybe drink a cup of tea occasioanlly .... possibly shout at each other.... but they are still seen by God as being ultimately precious, after all we are human beings not human doings - so why do I try and justify my existance by what I do? I should learn to just be, and appreciate being a child of God.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Life at Rock

I've been working at Rock for a week now, and living in Cambridge for a week and a day. Its quite strange - I feel like I've entered grown-up-world. I now live in a very nice 3 bedroomed semi (with a conservatory, patio doors and 2 sheds!) in suburban Cambridge - never done surburbia before, its very weird that you can walk for age and see nowt but houses (as opposed to fields in Normandy and exciting shops and the sea in Brighton), and its not strange to be asked if I'm married and if I have kids! People at church are really lovely, and tthey all seem very excited about the fact I've come to work for them. They all seem to know who I am, even if they don't know my face, when I tell them I'm Lou they will go (without exception) 'ohh YOUR lou!' its a bit scary - I feel like a celebrity! (and like a idiot when I don't know anyones names!)
Its also very weird living in a place where you don't know anyone again - I miss all my Birghton friends sooo much! Though I'm meeting Rachel (one of my fellow physics girls) in town on Saturday, because she lives reasonbly close - I'm sooo excited about seeing someone that I've known for longer than a week!!
Anyway, I should get on with being a grown-up :o)